


To the New Morning

by unciadesu



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - War, Angst, Angst and Feels, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Death, Explicit Language, Gen, I remember letting my mom read and her being like "that's not pretty", I'm pretty sure, Inspired by Music, Inspired by The War (EXO album), Men Crying, Mention of OT12, Mention of sex, Mentions of Death, Military, Near Death Experiences, OT9 - Freeform, One Shot, Sexual Content, Slice of Life, So yeah, Violence, War, i think, unpretty language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 15:27:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11626443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unciadesu/pseuds/unciadesu
Summary: The walls are crumbling down and dawn is coming.





	To the New Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning is for: Mention of Deaths, Blood, Trauma and Mention of OT12  
> 
> As for other Mature Content: Mention of sex. 

It was the fresh feel of a liquid caressing his skin that woke him up.

Unconsciously, he tightened his grip around his weapon. He knew better than to appreciate the feeling.

“It’s raining.” A soldier whispered.

_That’s not rain._

Every drop that collided with his cheek made him wince.

Was there not enough blood on his body already?

Eventually, Suho opened his eyes, abandoning the idea of sleep.

He looked around to the dark mud walls that surrounded them, that kept them away from stranger’s eyes and to his comrades, wounded and not, awake and asleep.

His eyes landed on his sangbyeong, Xiumin. He had forced his previous position on him after he had inherited the byeongjang rank. The man had protested stating that he was too quiet, too shy and too gentle to lead but Suho disagreed. He eventually ordered the man to assume the position and the older couldn’t decline. 

Suho thought he had chosen the right person. At least, he hoped so. He knew the man was awkward to approach which made his personality unknown by many but he also knew that he was a good listener, and, more importantly, a good person. He would be conscious of every man he lost and would avoid any unnecessary sacrifice.  Their previous byeongjang had thought so too.

More importantly, he knew he would be the type to work his butt off to get the best results. That’s all he needed.   

He watched as Xiumin held his palms in front of his body, the drops falling on them.

His heart clenched at the sight. He was staring and his hands, bloody and dirty; his once virtuous expression now extinguished and replaced with one devoid of any sentiment.

What was he thinking when he pressured the man with such an important position? He should’ve given it to someone that had already seen battles, that was already broken.

The man rubbed his hands together, the blood and dirt slowly coming off.

Suho frowned.

He pulled his hand away from his gun, raising it to the sky.

The beads dropping on his skin would wipe its staining instead of adding to it.

 _Oh._ He had been wrong all along. _It is raining._

He let his head fall back with a sigh. _This kind of thinking won’t get you far, Suho._

“Suho-sang- I mean Suho-byeongjang?” He recognized the delicate voice as Xiumin’s.

When he looked back at his comrade, he noticed his worried expression.

“Nightmare?” He asked, caring.

_If only it could be that simple..._

He hummed nonetheless.

When the rain became heavier, they covered their wounded, trying to provide them as much comfort as possible.  

Slowly, the soldiers, the few that could find rest, woke up; the raindrops surprised their tensed bodies.  They used the natural phenomenon as an opportunity to fill their flasks while they stuck their tongues out and to wipe the filth off their bodies.

With the strong wind prompting the clouds, the shower was brief.

“How did he stay asleep?” A soldier chuckled. Suho recognized the voice as belonging to one named Baekhyun.

“Running around and carrying bodies all day like he did, you would too.” That one was D.O’s. His words were tinted with esteem.

The byeongjang looked at the object of their admiration. Sitting in front of them and next to Suho, was one of their medics. The man was soundly snoozing with a slightly opened mouth and furrowed eyebrows. His chest calmly rose and fell to the rhythm of his breathing, his crossed arms following the movement.       

Lay was one of the most humane people he had met. He didn’t even know why the man carried a gun for he never used it. He knew that, as a medic, he wasn’t supposed to use his arm unless it was to defend his comrades or himself but he had seen the man in troublesome situations before and _never_ did he use his gun to shoot an enemy. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t know how to shoot. He remembered him in training, always getting even the smallest targets. He just wouldn’t use it.

A few days back, minutes before the previous byeongjang’s death, Lay had defended him. Suho remembered very clearly, for it had been an impressive action, how, seeing that his comrade had fallen and was then struggling to keep the enemies off him, he had ran to him, his gun still in his back. He fought the men empty handed.

Surely, the action had been stupid and Suho had turned his gaze away from them sure he was losing one of his medics right there, however the next thing he knew when he glanced at his friends again was that the both of them were standing up, the enemies on the ground with limbs contorted in ways he rarely saw.

Lay was already running to some other place and the other continued to fight.

Among the men they had lost that day, were three of his friends, including his fellow officer and he feared to lose any more. _It won’t be like that this time._

“He really is something.”

Suho couldn’t help but smile.

“Suho.” Chen called him. “Suho-byeongjang.”

He turned to him, smiling. “Hm?”

The soldier walked, back bent, to where he was and sat next to him.

“What’s bothering you, Chen?” He asked his man.

“I was thinking, wouldn’t it be more effective to attack at night? When the enemy can’t see us?”

“For now, our troops need to rest.” Suho simply answered.

“We’ll rest after. Why not attack the camp tonight when we have a higher chance of succeeding?”

His senior’s aspect tarnished.  “Your comrades need to rest, Chen. In the past two days we’ve walked miles, they deserve it.”

He turned away; maybe that way his soldier would abandon the conversation.  

“We’ll never progress if we keep resting. Tomorrow, it will be the same as always. We’ll get there, attack them, kill some of them while they kill some of us and we’ll fall-back again, like we did last time. Then, we’ll be back again at the start point.”

While his man spoke to him, Suho had his attention on Chanyeol who kept shifting in his seat, opening every single one of his many pockets as he searched for something.

“We can’t dispute the orders we received, Chen,” was the byeongjang’s response.

As Chanyeol got something that glint in the moonlight out of his uniform, he spoke contented words, sign that he had found what he was looking for.

It bothered Suho for some reason but he let the man be.

He understood the object was a lighter when he brought a cigarette to his mouth. He held the cylinder with two shaking fingers while the tip flared.

He passed the fire to Kai next to him.

“These orders will get us killed,” Chen murmured.

He grasped the meaning of his gut feeling.

He stood up and grabbing the two soldiers by the nape he shouted: “Get down!”

They did just in time.                                                     

As he stared at the mucky ground, his heartbeat pulsing through his body, he listened to the whistling bullets piercing through the wind.

He was relieved that, instead of one of his soldiers’ skull, they bore holes in the soil walls but still petrified by the shock for he had been close to losing two of his man. 

The shooting was quick to stop.

Suho waited to catch his breath before he searched for the lighter in the mud. His juniors waited in the same position although the latter’s hands weren’t on their necks anymore. They were certainly taken aback.

“Wha-What happened?” He heard Chen mumble.

Finally finding the petty metal box, he held it to the smokers’ sight.

When he had their eyes on him, Suho lectured them:

“Tell me what this is.” He ordered.  

“A lighter, sir.”

“And what does a lighter do, soldier Chanyeol?” He stressed.

“Fire, sir. To light our cigs, sir.” His words were hurried out of his mouth.

“Oh!” His tone was sarcastic. “And can one of you explain to me again why we don’t do fires even in the coldest nights?”

“Sorry, sir.”  

“I don’t want you to apologize, soldier Kai, I want you to understand why your actions were moronic so that I don’t wake up one day to the nasty sight of two of my soldiers with bullets in their brains!”

Suho’s voice was thundering while the others remained silent.

“We don’t make fires because it draws attention to us, sir.” Kai responded after a moment.

The byeongjang sighed. He gripped their napes once again but this time as a consoling gesture.

He sat back.

“Anyway, you shouldn’t smoke,” he used a joking voice to dissipate the tension, “if you do you’ll end up like Min jungwi; bad stamina and bad skin early in life. That’s why he lost his wife. Your bodies are young, keep it that way.”

“I thought jungwi’s wife left him because he was an asshole.” A soldier spoke.

“That too.”

It made the others laugh.

“Sir? Can we...”

Chanyeol and Kai were still bent, unsure if they would get shot if they rested their backs once again on the stiff walls.

“Go ahead. Don’t worry, they won’t waste anymore bullets on you two.”

The two nodded to him as a sign of respect.

 He turned to Chen.

“What were you saying?”

The man took a deep breath. “You don’t want this operation to fail, right? Then, I suggest we attack at night.”

His voice was calm but confident. Suho knew fear was his motivation.

“Tomorrow, the air forces are going to bomb the camp. It’ll give us time to move. We’ll take their moment of surprise to-“

“Do you really believe it’ll surprise them? We’re not the only people to have radars. They will see them coming and know we plan on attacking them after; that’s what they were doing before we arrived.”

He pointed further in the dike to the soldiers of the company they had joined.

“They will hide and they _will_ be prepared. We’ve tested the blade, we know it’s dull. Why not use another one?” 

“Because the orders we’ve received were reflected upon many times by qualified officers that have been doing this profession for far longer than you, soldier Chen. They are people I trust and I will follow their orders.”

“You will put your life in the hands of people that lie to you on a daily basis.”

The byeongjang was, for a moment, taken aback.

The soldier continued: “You know I’m- “

“Yes. Yes, because it’s for the greater good.”

His man was apparently not expecting that answer. He pursued nonetheless:   

“The greater good?” Chen scoffed. “That’s what the government wants us to believe. They distort the truth to make us think these men are a threat so that we fear them and unite to suppress them. But there’s something more, there’s always something more.”

He designed the camp behind them.

“These people, they are like us. And they also fight for what _they_ think is the greater good...When I was young, I believed all the lies the adults would tell us, heck I even dreamed of enlisting and now I’m here and I realise how much crap it was...”

He stared at Suho who wouldn’t react.

“Sorry, Suho byeonjang. I guess I’m just tired...”

“Like all of us.” He replied.

“It just doesn’t feel like there’ll be a denouement...Or maybe, simply not a successful one.”

The man’s eyes went to the gun he held against his chest.

The other took a deep breath: “Try to avoid getting killed and you’ll get discharged soon. Then, get yourself a wife and children and you can raise them to know the truth. That way they can provoke change.”    

The soldier clenched his jaw and nodded. He gave his bicep a strong pat.

As he looked over to his comrades, he noticed they were harassing Baekhyun. The man was curled up, arms in front of his face as Kai hit him.

Although he winced at every hit, the smaller was laughing and so were the others around him.

Suho thought he would still intervene: “Okay, that’s enough.” He made his voice soft so that he didn’t ruin his men’s mood. “Stop bullying the poor Baekhyun.”

“He doesn’t want to tell us how he met his fiancé.”

“You have a fiancé?” Suho was shocked.

“Why are you so surprised?” The soldier was offended.

D.O next to him rubbed his back while he chuckled.

“Soldier Kang was telling us about how he met his wife and then Baekhyun told us his story was more interesting but refuses to elaborate.” Chanyeol explained.

“Guys, Baekhyun has the right to have his private life.” Xiumin claimed. There wasn’t any rebuke in his voice. 

“Thank you, Xiumin sangbyeong.” It sounded like he was ready to add: “At least _you_ understand me.” However, these words didn’t escape his mouth.

“Xiumin sangbyeong is right,” the byeongjang acknowledged, “at your age you should accept that there are things people want to keep private.”

Suho smirked.

“However, we are soldiers. We shower together, we shit together and we _fight_ together; there shouldn’t be any bashfulness between us. Tell your story, soldier Baekhyun.”

In the moonlight, they could distinguish blush spreading on the man’s face.

“Byeong-Byeongjang...”

“Consider this an order.”

Suho would’ve accepted if the man had refused for he was joking but Baekhyun didn’t.

With a pout the man conceded.

He told them about a night, when he was still in training, where he had snuck out of the base with other recruits to go at a bar nearby. They had met a few girls that night, his fiancé was among them.

“We had a few drinks together but at some point, without realizing it, we just stopped drinking. We talked a lot and, for some reason, just listening to her, listening to her laugher, the way she brushed her hair behind her ears was enough to make me dizzy. I just looked at her and smiled like an imbecile.”

“She must have been really pretty,” D.O assumed.

“She was and still is. I can’t even find words to describe her.”

“Okay but I don’t understand how that beats Kang’s story,” Chanyeol claimed.

“Wait, I’m getting there. So we talked for really long and then at some point one of the guys got so drunk he vomited on the bar’s floor and you know how I knew she was the one? She got up, helped the guy get up and then cleaned the puke with the barman. I remember staring at her bent over that orange – it was orange I remember very clearly – barf and thinking that she looked really hot in those tight jeans she was wearing. So I knew that, if I was able to find her hot while she wiped that puke off the floor, she would be beautiful to me in any situation.”

Kai scoffed while Xiumin let his softened heart express itself. The story teller seemed please to have people listening to him.

The byeongjang brightened tiredly.

“And then...” Baekhyun looked away, a wide grin plastered on his face.

“And then?” Chanyeol urged him to continue.

The man liked his lip before continuing and the others teased him for it briefly: “So her and like two three of her friends followed us back to the base – obviously they didn’t enter, they just wanted to say goodbye – but we wanted to stay together a bit more so her friends left and I told the guys to go back before me. So, we talked a bit more and eventually I told her that I had to go back – we stayed at that bar ‘til pretty late – so I kissed her. But I guess we really didn’t want to leave each other because it turned into intense making out and I can tell you that her ass was soft as fuck under those jeans, it’s sad she had to throw them away after though...”

“What? Did you..? Did you get jizz on her jeans?” Kai wondered.

Suho’s eyes were slowly closing.

“Nah, I was very careful not to.”

He winked.

“No there was just an asshole that splashed her with his truck while she was walking home.”

“So, that night, you _did_ do her?” Xiumin questioned.

“Actually, she did the both of us. She jerked me off while she rubbed herself on my thigh.”

“Shit that’s hot.” Kang gasped.

“ _She’s_ hot,” Baekhyun corrected him. “Obviously, I helped her, but she did most of the job.”

The man sounded very proud.

They heard Chanyeol grunt before he talked: “I wish I could jerk off; it’s been so long since I touched myself it’s frustrating.”    

Ready to retire into sleep, the byeongjang let out a last sentence: “As long as no one sees or hears you, you can masturbate all you want.”

 

 

 

 

A soldier was humming in a soothing and mellow voice.

It was an old tune Suho hadn’t listened to since before he had joined the army. Hearing it again was making nostalgia creep inside his stomach.

He readjusted himself in his seat, making himself comfortable to listen to the singer.

The latter giggled while still following the melody and Suho recognized him as D.O. He heard a baritone voice, which belonged to Chanyeol, join to the other’s as a sign of support while he also struggled to find the lyrics to the song.

Then, at the chorus, the words came back to them and they sang together, Chanyeol even doing harmonies in a breathy high voice.

When D.O tried to continue with the second verse, his laughter interrupted him as he was unable, once again, to find the lyrics. The baritone adhered to his amusement.

“Your voice is nice,” Baekhyun complemented D.O.

“Mmh, it’s very pleasant to listen to,” Kai added, “both of your voices are. They blend well together.”

He heard Chen approve of his comrades’ words in a nasal hum.

The byeongjang opened his eyes and noticed how the singer was giving the others a heart shaped smile.

“I hope you’re planning on becoming a singer,” Chanyeol spoke.

D.O scoffed.   

“Hey! You shouldn’t laugh,” a soldier spoke, “think about it, it’s a good idea; with your looks and voice, you’d have all the girls at your feet.”

“And the boys,” Baekhyun joked which made the soldiers laugh harder.

“Oppa! Oppa!” Chanyeol jested. “ Bbobbo  juseyo, oppa!”

Kai hit his leg as he put an arm around his clenched stomach, hilarity shaking him strongly.

“Then, what do you _want_ to do,” Suho asked, surprising his soldiers.

“Byeongjang...Sorry we didn’t want to wake you up...” Chanyeol apologized.

“It’s fine.”

“I want to open a restaurant,” D.O explained.

Chen expressed his surprise through an “o” sound. “What kind of restaurant?” He asked. “Italian?”

“Maybe a fast food? I’d like to open a small restaurant on the countryside, maybe even have my own fields of vegetables so I could use them to cook or something....” He was thoughtful for a moment and then started nodding: “Yeah, I think that would be nice.”

He chuckled cutely.

“Would you give me a meal for free if I came by?” The byeongjang wondered.

His soldier’s face brightened, he had never seen such a wide smile on the normally apathetic man.

_Oh no. Don’t smile at me like that._

“Of course!” His soldier accepted.

_You know you shouldn’t do this, Suho, why must you do it anyway?_

“Careful, D.O, next thing you know he’ll starve himself for a week beforehand only to eat all your food,” came Chanyeol’s witty remark.

 Suho let a small smile spread on his lips and closed his eyes as he snickered.

“Oh my...I’m sorry byeongjang I didn’t mean to offend you,” Chanyeol worried, “don’t hit me.”

“I won’t. But you guys should sleep now. Get a bit of rest before tomorrow, mmh?”

They nodded but their dim and anxious expressions didn’t pass unnoticed by their superior. _Your eyes tell me everything._

He watched as his soldiers installed themselves to sleep on the unpleasant ground.  

His gaze fell upon his sangbyeong. His eyes were still opened, staring to his right. He didn’t seem to be preparing to rest.

He looked pensive.

“You should sleep too, Xiumin sangbyeong,” Suho insisted, “I’ll stay awake so don’t worry.”

When the man turned to him, he was frowning. Something in his eyes made him look confident.

“I’ll sleep another time,” he answered.

Suho didn’t even argue.

The man stood up and carefully made his way to one of their soldiers.

The byeongjang hadn’t even noticed the weeping man - he might have been too used to that kind of sound – but the sangbyeong had.

He installed himself next to the man who turned away before the new presence.

He had presented a simple smile accompanied of a single word Suho read as “hi” on his lips. 

Xiumin’s mouth moved, letting more words escape.  His eyebrows had wrinkled, signing interrogation.

The man glanced at the sangbyeong and nodded, letting Suho see his face.

_Sehun..._

Suho had heard a lot from him for he had developed a strong relationship with another soldier which had been noticed by the entire platoon.

Said soldier had always helped him as Sehun was by a few years his younger. He would ensure that he wouldn’t get in trouble and always guarantee to make him gain his smile back when his aspect was sombre.

When a few days before they had lost knowledge of the soldier’s whereabouts after falling back, it obviously had been a shock for Sehun who had also seen one of his close friends die that day from a bullet in the brain. It didn’t help that there was no one alive that could confirm the older’s death.

The man had completely disappeared. He was another name to add to their list of missing soldiers.  Some pretended that they had seen him at the former byeongjang’s side when the latter had been caught in an explosion but no one was certain.

A part of him hoped that his friend had been taken as a war prisoner but he knew better than to be optimistic.  

Xiumin helped Sehun stand up and they walked further in the crevasse.

When the sangbyeong stopped and looked at the sky, so did the soldier.

They didn’t seem to talk.

They viewed the clear sky, sprinkled with stars.

It made Suho’s head fall back to also admire the view.

Around him, his soldiers were asleep and although he would acknowledge the atmosphere as silent, in the distance he could hear sobs, shouts and unnatural thundering.

All things considered, it was a calm night and when, looking at the stars’ position, he understood that it would be ending soon, he grew sorrowful.

He wished morning would never find them.  

_How did serenity come to this?_

His eyes went to his sleeping soldiers as he heard rapid and uneven breathing coming from them.

He looked for the owner of the sounds.

As he discovered Chanyeol’s troubled expression, his eyes profoundly wrinkled and his lips parted and searching for air, he concluded that it was him.

Soon, he awoke from his nightmare with a loud and raspy gasp.

The man stared at him with terror in his eyes, his teeth clacking uncontrollably.

Suho tried to guide him to a more even breathing and the man followed, his chin shaky.

When he couldn’t contain his tears anymore, Chanyeol hid his face in his hands.  

The byeonjang looked away.

  _There’s no hope left for you, Suho. You gave yourself scars that will never fade by cherishing doomed people. This is the end for you._

His eyes fell upon Xiumin and Sehun and, just as he did so, the younger buried his head in the crook of the other’s neck.

His sobs could be heard by Suho at that distance. 

_You broke your own soul._   

The soldier brought the older closer to his shaking body and the sangbyeong passed a hand in the man’s back, giving it strong pats.

He could see Sehun’s hands forming fists as he gripped the smaller man’s uniform.

_I hate you._

Xiumin looked up to the sky once again, taking a deep breath.

He pulled the younger strongly with his forearm and rested his head on the other’s.

He was trembling too.

_Ah, right. Xiumin was also close to him._

In the horizon, Suho noticed the first morning lights spreading on the land. They were rich of gold but mostly soft as they slowly chased away the night sky.

He felt a chill going through his spine.

He would have wished to appreciate the beauty of dawn but as it meant he had to wake up his troops for a new morning, a new day, he couldn’t help but despise it.

 He looked at his sangbyeong once again who was turned to him, a determined expression on his face.

_Alright._

He turned to the medic on his right and lightly pushed him with his elbow.

“Lay,wake up. It’s morning.”

“Ah...Good morning.”

In less than five minutes, every soldier was awake and in less than ten, everyone was ready to go.

 They waited in the dike until the air forces bombarded the enemy camp and when they did, Suho faced his men.

“Okay, soldiers. Don’t do anything stupid and follow or orders. Trust me, trust your comrades and more importantly, don’t get killed.” He scoffed.

 _Please._  

When Suho received signal from his superior, they walked out their hiding place and into battle.

Over the sound of the weak wind whistling through his ears, the byeongjang could hear his heart beating strongly in his chest.    

_Make it not be like last time._


End file.
